


Dear You

by PsychedelicatePoltergeist



Series: Screams and Sighs [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depression, Grief/Mourning, Loss, M/M, Mild Gore, Recovery, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2020-02-04
Packaged: 2020-05-12 15:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychedelicatePoltergeist/pseuds/PsychedelicatePoltergeist
Summary: This story is an alternate route to my Kuzusouda fanfiction Screams and Sighs. It begins roughly around chapter 14-15 of that story. It is highly recommended that you read the entirety of Screams and Sighs before reading this story, as it will contain spoilers for the entirety of it.This story also contains sensitive topics. Please read the tags carefully before proceeding.-Fuyuhiko should've known that he would lose another loved one in the School Trip of Mutual Killing. But when Kazuichi successfully, intentionally kills himself in a dangerous game of Russian Roulette, his world changes drastically once again. Now, despair has secured its hold onto Fuyuhiko, and it will only be a matter of time before he can overcome it...





	1. I Ain't Gonna Run Away

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION: This fanfiction contains prevelant themes of suicide and depression. If these topics are a trigger to you, I'd advise against reading this story. I am doing my best to portray these issues as best as I can, and a friend is reading over each chapter and providing feedback on these portrayals before each chapter is published. If you have any criticisms of my portrayal of these topics, please don't hesitate to let me know in the comments.
> 
> This story also contains some descriptions of violence and gore. They are not explicitly detailed or excessive, but I thought I'd add this precaution just in case.
> 
> This story is also an alternate route of my Kuzusouda fanfiction Screams and Sighs. It begins at around Chapter 14-15 of SAS; however, I would strongly recommend reading SAS in its entirety before reading this, as Dear You will contain spoilers for the entire fanfic.
> 
> If you have taken all of the above into account and you have chosen to read this story, then I hope that you will enjoy it.

_ I still can't believe or consider what has gone _

_ It's too much to take, but my heart is beating on… _

━━━━━━━━━━━━

All Fuyuhiko wanted to do was climb back into bed and sleep for another few hours - hell, even the entire day. He hadn’t eaten anything in at least 20 hours, and following his usual sleep cycle, very little energy had been restored. He was craving something,  _ anything,  _ to stop the persistent grumbling of his stomach - a bowl of soup, an apple, even a bit of mochi would suffice. He was never very good at fasting as part of the Kuzuryuu Clan’s rigorous training regime, so how the hell was he meant to survive this? How the hell could he live on absolutely no food, on top of two hours of nonstop tai chi early each morning?

His classmates fidgeted uneasily as Monokuma explained his new tai chi program. Grape Hall felt much more closed in than it actually was. The only way to survive this was to kill. And Fuyuhiko had already vowed not to kill anyone again, directly or indirectly.

He glanced at Kazuichi, who had recently declared him his “Soul Friend” and was subsequently the closest companion he had left. Unsurprisingly, he was trembling more than anyone else. His eyes constantly darted around the room, as though he were expecting someone to stealthily kill him, and he was as pale as a ghost despite the light tan he’d received over the previous week they’d all spent on Jabberwock Island. There were only two people in this room that he trusted to leave him no harm - Sonia and Fuyuhiko. Fuyuhiko knew this, now that he’d noticed how he seemed to relax in the company of either of them, despite the situation they were in.

For a brief moment, Fuyuhiko and Kazuichi’s eyes met, and Fuyuhiko saw that his friend’s eyes had now widened in palpable fear. Neither of them said a word, but Fuyuhiko was familiar with the message that he was trying to convey, regardless.

_ Help me. _

What could he do? The only way to escape the Funhouse was to kill another student - and if he was correctly declared the blackened in the subsequent class trial, he’d die anyway. But Kazuichi could escape… he wouldn’t have to starve any longer… and then what? How long was this killing game going to continue? Whatever happened, Kazuichi could still die at any moment…

No, that was ridiculous. Fuyuhiko wasn’t going to sacrifice himself for some guy he’d only known for a week, Soul Friend or not. Besides, with Peko gone, he had to keep moving forward. She’d want him to survive this killing game. She wouldn’t want him to sacrifice himself. She  _ didn’t  _ want him to lay down his life for her, or anyone else.

Fuck, there he went again, dwelling on his lost bodyguard and closest companion. Fortunately, Monokuma had finally stopped talking, and the nine surviving students were now copying the tai chi moves he was demonstrating. Fuyuhiko could do nothing but join in. The exercise was unwelcome due to the physical state he was in, but at least it was good for clearing his mind.

By the time Monokuma Tai Chi had concluded at last, he felt as though he could collapse right there in the middle of Grape Hall. His classmates appeared to be in the same state, for most of them could barely stand. Chiaki had to hold on to the walls just to stay upright.

He needed a nap. Badly. The tai chi had worked a little too well; all he could think of was sleeping the day away. It wasn’t a bad idea, either. What else was there to do in this stupid place, anyway?

The trip to his room felt like it went on for half an hour. The simple act of walking was quickly becoming a chore to him; his movements were so slow and sluggish, and he was so tired that he’d considered taking a nap against a wall instead. Fortunately, his survival instincts were still intact, and he knew that by sleeping outside of his room, he was practically begging for someone to come along and make a quick, easy kill.

Fuyuhiko sighed in relief as he collapsed onto his bed at last and closed his eye. He thought about the look on Kazuichi’s face during Monokuma Tai Chi and wondered if he was okay, but sleep overtook him before his thoughts could go anywhere.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

_ Ding dong, bing bong. _

Fuyuhiko drowsily rubbed his good eye as the sound of an incoming Monokuma Announcement roused him from sleep. How long had he been asleep for? It couldn’t have been nighttime already, could it?

“Please make your way down to the first floor of Strawberry House!”

_ The fuck does he want now?  _ Fuyuhiko wondered irritably as he sat up. He was still very tired, and he really could’ve used a couple more hours of sleep, but disobeying Monokuma was akin to suicide. Akane had learnt that the hard way. He’d have to put up with this overpowering fatigue if it meant he could live another day. Besides, he wasn’t as exhausted as he’d been before. Maybe, if Monokuma let him go quickly, he could go straight back to sleep.

His hunger pains hadn’t gotten better or worse during his nap, but his movements were still rather sluggish as he stood up, neatened up his suit and made his way down to the first floor.

By the time he reached his destination, he found Nekomaru, Gundam and Nagito gathered in front of the doors leading into the Final Dead Room - which, oddly enough, were wide open. His three classmates were staring intensely inside the room, and, at first, Fuyuhiko was confused. Hadn’t Monokuma already explained this room to them? Was there something he’d forgotten to cover?

Then he registered the powerful scent of fresh blood, and his stomach churned unpleasantly.  _ Murder,  _ he automatically thought.  _ Someone’s already snapped and made a kill. _

No, that wasn’t right… if there was a murder, there would’ve been a body discovery announcement… Monokuma hadn’t said anything about a body being found… had he?

A soft paw gently tugged at his hand, and he looked down to see Monomi, gazing up at him apologetically with tears gathering beneath her little button eyes. “I tried to stop him…” she claimed, with a wavering voice, “but…”

“The fuck are you talkin’ about!?” Fuyuhiko yelled, glaring down at her.

Monomi whimpered and shrunk back, clutching her chest. “I’m sorry…”

Now Nagito, Nekomaru and Gundam were looking at him with that same pitiful expression.

“ _ What!? _ ” Fuyuhiko snapped. Why was everyone looking at him like he was a time bomb? He’d already lost Peko, hadn’t he? What could possibly be anywhere near as bad as that?

Determined to find out, he finally directed his gaze towards the Final Dead Room, peering inside. What was contained within was worse than anything he could’ve possibly imagined.

The room was lit by only a dim light that illuminated the blood splattered all over the walls in a way that reminded Fuyuhiko of a slasher movie. The floor was practically painted red; there was so much blood that Fuyuhiko would’ve vomited if his gag reflex wasn’t in check. Lying in the pool of blood was none other than Kazuichi Souda. His body lay face-down, bleeding heavily from the head, which was in such a grotesque state that it hardly even resembled its original shape. His arms were outstretched, as though they were grasping for something in front of him. A gun lay on the floor beside his lifeless body.

It was like witnessing a train crash; it was awful, and Fuyuhiko wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. His gaze was transfixed on his friend’s body, refusing to believe that this boy - the first person outside of the Kuzuryuu Clan whom he’d considered a friend - was dead and gone. But he knew that it was true. The evidence was right there in front of him.

He heard gasps of horror and dismay, and, sure enough, by the time he’d turned around, Hajime and the girls had arrived from Grape House. They were already looking into the room at the horror contained within.

“No…” Sonia murmured, burying her face in her hands. “This cannot be… I never thought…”

“Monomi…” Chiaki cautiously edged closer towards the small pink rabbit, as though approaching an easily-frightened horse. She gazed down at her with an expression of concern and curiosity that no other student had ever shown towards her. “Can you explain what happened?”

Monomi was sobbing by now. She constantly rubbed her eyes in a futile attempt to brush away her tears. “I-it was awful…” she hiccuped. “As your teacher, I should’ve done something… I should’ve stopped him… but there was nothing I could do!”

Chiaki nodded sympathetically and reached out to pat her shoulder. “I’m sure you’ve done everything you could. He went in there to try to get the Ultimate Weapon, right?”

Monomi shook her head. “A-actually… I think… I think he wanted to… oh, it’s horrible!”

“Oh…” Chiaki paused for a moment, considering Monomi’s words. Her voice had become much quieter. “You believe that he… wanted to die?”

Monomi gave a tiny nod, sniffling.

_ He wanted to die. He went in there specifically to off himself. _

Fuyuhiko was shaking with anger and hurt as he remembered Kazuichi’s state during Monokuma Tai Chi that morning, how genuinely, undeniably scared he was. It made sense. Of course he was planning on killing himself. How could Fuyuhiko miss that?

“YOU FUCKIN’ WEAK PIECE OF SHIT!” he bellowed, clenching his fists so tightly that they began to bleed. He neither noticed nor cared. “I should’ve known that you’d take the easy way out, you selfish fuckin’ coward! I was kiddin’ myself, thinkin’ you’d survive this fuckin’ school trip, wasn’t I? I should’ve fuckin’ known that I’d hafta put you on fuckin’ suicide watch!”

His surviving classmates and Monomi shrunk back as he turned his fiery glare towards him, astonished by his sudden, inappropriate display of anger.

“Now watch me while I fuckin’ get my shit together and survive this shitshow!” he went on. “I ain’t gonna run away!”

As soon as the declaration was made, he felt something wet slide down his cheek. Fuck. He was crying now. He turned away from the others, facing the wall, willing himself to stop the slow stream of tears that slid down his face.

_ Don’t notice, don’t notice, don’t you dare fucking notice… _

“I’m sorry, Fuyuhiko,” said Chiaki. Her voice was tinged with sympathy, and Fuyuhiko was tempted to turn around and throttle her. “You and Kazuichi were good friends, weren’t you?”

“‘Course not,” Fuyuhiko snapped without turning his gaze back towards her. “Where the fuck did you get that idea?”

“Well, I noticed you two hanging around each other a lot recently… and you seemed to get along much better than you did before…”

“Th-that doesn’t mean he was my fuckin’  _ friend. _ ”

“Doesn’t it? If he wasn’t your friend, then… what  _ was  _ he to you?”

Fuyuhiko didn’t answer. Chiaki had backed him into a corner. Good friends… no, they were more than just “good friends.”

_ “W-we’re Soul Friends now! That means that you’re my best friend ever! I-it’s a title I don’t give out very often.” _

Holding his tears back had become a fruitless exercise. Defeated, he collapsed to his knees and succumbed to the growing cascade of tears, burying his face in his hands in an attempt to conceal his sorry state from the others, but the way his shoulders shook as he began to sob was a dead giveaway for sure.

He was back at square one. He was all alone, once again. First Natsumi and Peko, now Kazuichi…

He was such an idiot. Of  _ course  _ his loved ones would die in a killing game. He’d gotten his hopes up, expecting Kazuichi to somehow survive until the end. And now he was gone…

He could feel the intense stares of his remaining classmates and Monomi boring into him, but, no matter how hard he tried, the tears wouldn’t stop. How pathetic. He was crying in front of everyone again…

“Fuyuhiko…” Sonia’s quiet, concerned voice was followed by the sound of footsteps, coming closer and closer. “I am terribly sorry for all the strife you have been through as of late…”

“Indeed, you seem to be incredibly unlucky,” Nagito added. “But, as long as you believe in hope, your situation will get better.”

Fuyuhiko felt a hand rest carefully upon his shoulder. “Please reach out to us if you ever need to talk, okay?” said Chiaki.

He abruptly raised his head and roughly shook Chiaki’s hand off of his shoulder, causing her to step back slightly. “I don’t need to fuckin’  _ talk! _ ” he screamed. “I don’t need your fuckin’ pity!” Thankfully, the cascade of tears had ceased, but he could still feel the tear tracks lining his cheeks.

Hajime shifted uncomfortably. “We’re just trying to help-”

“You can all mind your own fuckin’ business, how ‘bout that!?” He leapt to his feet and stumbled away back to his room. No one made a move to stop him.

Once he returned to his room, he slammed the door behind him and glared around at the small, crummy space he was expected to sleep in during his stay in the Funhouse. This would be the last time he’d see this room, and yet the prospect of leaving the Funhouse didn’t appeal to him as much as it had yesterday.

_ I hate you,  _ Fuyuhiko thought as he took the mirror from the chest of drawers adjacent to the bed.  _ I hate you so fuckin’ much.  _ He threw the mirror to the ground and watched as it split into several shards of glass upon collision.  _ We could’ve found some other way to escape, you dipshit!  _ He then seized a potted plant and threw that to the ground as well with all the strength that remained in his body. Soil and sharp ceramic shards spilled onto the floor.  _ You didn’t hafta be a goddamn martyr! You shouldn’t have… _

Fuyuhiko choked back a sob as he looked around for any other objects he could throw around, but, to his dismay, the mirror and the potted plant were his only options. Now he was forced to truly succumb to his grief. His legs felt like jelly, and he was forced to sit down on his bed before he collapsed. Tears were freely streaming down his face once again, and now that he no longer had an audience, he was free to cry as much as he needed to, so he allowed himself to do so. He’d barely managed to hold it together in the company of his classmates, so he might as well let it all out now.

He’d only known Kazuichi for about a week or two, and they’d been friends for around half of that time, but losing him was almost like losing Peko all over again. Peko’s death had awakened him to the harsh reality that he was all alone, that he didn’t have anyone to call a friend. Now, his first true friend outside of the clan had gone ahead and killed himself, leaving Fuyuhiko behind. How could he? The selfish, irreversible act felt like a personal attack to Fuyuhiko. Kazuichi was weak and selfish and cowardly, and Fuyuhiko hated him for it - but, more than that, he wished he could’ve prevented it somehow.

He thought about Hiyoko, and how, on some level, he’d wanted to eventually be her friend somehow, after all the tension between them as a result of Mahiru’s death had subsided. She was killed before any sort of friendship between them had even begun. And, if Sonia was to be believed, she’d wanted to begin a friendship with him, too…

Opening up to others was a mistake. Befriending his classmates was only hurting him in the long run and distracting them from their inevitable fates. He’d failed to prevent Kazuichi’s death, so why should he have a go at this whole friendship business, anyway? As a yakuza, he knew that that wasn’t how life worked. Friends came and went, and he’d be lucky to have one who’d survive at least a couple of months after knowing him.

Fuyuhiko wiped his tears away as his sobs began to cease. Yeah… he was going to have to stick to his original plan. He wasn’t here to make friends. No, he was here to survive the Killing School Trip - both for Peko’s sake and to stick it up to Kazuichi. He couldn’t die. No matter what, he had to live to the end.

It occurred to him that he had to get moving. He didn’t even know whether there was going to be a class trial for Kazuichi’s death, but he figured that there wouldn’t be a need for one. His death was clearly a suicide. So that meant that the others were on their way out of the Funhouse. He had to go join them - he was fairly certain that Monokuma was the only one who had any idea where the exit was. No way in hell was he gonna be left behind. So, once he’d managed to compose himself, he exited the crummy room for good, without regard for the debris all over the floor.

“Ah, Fuyuhiko!” Nekomaru had ascended the staircase to the second floor at almost the exact moment Fuyuhiko stepped out into the hall. “I was just coming to see you.”

“Good,” said Fuyuhiko. “I was just ‘bout to leave this madhouse with you guys.”

“Ah, about that… Monokuma says we’re not leaving.’

Fuyuhiko’s blood ran cold. “You’re kidding.”

“Afraid not…” Nekomaru had become strangely tense. “He says that Kazuichi’s death was a “foolish accident” because losing Russian Roulette in the Final Dead Room doesn’t count as a murder. So there’s no class trial, and someone’s gotta get murdered before we can leave.”

Fuyuhiko gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. He’d figured that, if there was a silver lining to Kazuichi’s suicide, it’d be that at least it meant that he and his surviving classmates could all make it out of the Funhouse alive. Now that he knew that Kazuichi’s sacrifice had been in vain, the anger he felt towards his lost friend intensified. Whatever his intentions may have been, he’d still made a selfish move that, whether Fuyuhiko was prepared to admit it or not, made a deep cut in his heart.

Nekomaru’s stance softened a little. “I know you’re going through a lot right now,” he said, “but don’t be afraid to fall back on your friends. They’re here for you.”

“I don’t have any goddamn friends left,” Fuyuhiko spat.

Nekomaru laughed. “Don’t be silly! You’ve got a friend in me!”

Fuyuhiko swallowed. No. He couldn’t fall into that trap again. If he wanted to get off of Jabberwock Island alive, he needed to stop succumbing to grief and heartbreak. Getting attached to people was only going to hurt him.

“No, I don’t,” he told Nekomaru firmly. “I don’t have any fuckin’ friends left, and I intend to keep it that way.”

Nekomaru frowned. “Is there anything I can do for you?” he asked.

“Yeah, you can stay the fuck away from me,” Fuyuhiko replied.

“If you insist…” Nekomaru’s frown morphed into a jovial grin so quickly that Fuyuhiko wondered if he was bipolar. “But always remember to stay strong and healthy! Do your daily push-ups! And, most importantly of all, take a big, satisfying SHIIIIIIIIIT!”

Fuyuhiko rolled his single eye. “Fuck you.” He shoved his hands deep into his pockets, turned on his heel and headed back the way he came.

_ “Gettin’ on with the right folks actually gives you more strength than before,”  _ he remembered Akane telling him during their conversation the day before. Apparently, it was something Nekomaru had told her - and now he knew for sure that, indeed, the Ultimate Team Manager believed in this philosophy. It was a philosophy that did nothing good for Fuyuhiko, and he didn’t know why he’d bothered following it in the first place. By braving the storm alone, he had enough strength to lift an entire building without strain or exhaustion. Giving anyone else the time of day did nothing but slow him down and weaken his will. Akane and Nekomaru were blind to the truth, and, sooner or later, they were going to suffer for it.

Yet, despite his resolve, Fuyuhiko prayed that the entire school trip was nothing but a terrible nightmare, that he’d wake up and see Natsumi, Peko and Kazuichi once more.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

_ “So.” Kazuichi placed his pen down on the table and held his worksheet up so that Fuyuhiko, who sat across from him, could see what he’d written down. “How did I do?” _

_ Fuyuhiko was silent for a moment as he examined Kazuichi’s work. “You  _ did  _ catch up on this book in your free time, right?” he inquired sternly. _

_ Kazuichi nodded a little too quickly. “‘Course I did!” _

_ “Then what the fuck makes you think that Genji was fuckin’ a buncha women just ‘cause he wants to fuck as many girls as possible? Is your reading comprehension really  _ that  _ shit?” _

_ “Fine, fine, I didn’t read it! Don’t kill me!” _

_ Fuyuhiko rolled his eyes. “Thanks for bein’ honest.” _

_ It was a typical Tuesday afternoon at Hope’s Peak Academy, and classes had concluded for the day. Fuyuhiko had arrived at Kazuichi’s dorm in order to help him with his Japanese homework, which he was evidently struggling with. He’d had other plans for the afternoon, but Kazuichi had begged him to help him out, so he had no choice but to go along with his whims. _

_ He looked around his friend’s dorm. The bed wasn’t made - the pillow lay in the middle of the mattress, while the covers haphazardly trailed off one side of the bed. Soda cans, cellophane and dirty underwear littered the floor. For some reason, the room had a strong scent of oil, even though the school warehouse was more-or-less Kazuichi’s official talent-related working quarters. Yet, every morning, when Taka came around for dorm inspection, the dorm was always spick and span - but only because Fuyuhiko begrudgingly helped Kazuichi tidy up. How it kept getting so messy afterwards was beyond him, and he figured that at this point he ought to just let Kazuichi take care of it himself. _

_ Kazuichi groaned as he placed his worksheet back on the surface in front of him. “What the hell’s with this book, anyway? It’s so messed up.” _

_ “It’s only messed up to you because you clearly haven’t lived in the Heian Period,” Fuyuhiko retorted. _

_ Kazuichi glared at him. “Well, if you know so much about the Heian Period, why don’tcha help me with these questions?” He picked up his pen and used it to gesture towards his worksheet. _

_ Fuyuhiko moved his chair around to sit beside Kazuichi. “Fine. But I ain’t gonna hold your hand all the way through.” He pointed at the first question on the sheet. “You better remember who Aoi no Ue is, or you’re gonna be in deep shit.” _

_ They studied for what felt like forever, but only turned out to be around 45 minutes. Kazuichi was grinning from ear to ear as he finally set his pen down again, his Japanese homework complete. “Thanks for that, man,” he said. “You really saved my ass there. Yukizome-sensei is fuckin’  _ terrifying  _ when you don’t turn in your homework.” _

_ “All the better to quit procrastinatin’,” Fuyuhiko replied with a smirk. _

_ Kazuichi chuckled. “Guess you’re right.” _

_ “You know I am.” _

_ “Oh yeah, Fuyuhiko, I should prolly mention - I’m finally over Sonia now.” _

_ Fuyuhiko felt as though a large weight had finally been lifted off his shoulders. "That's good," he said. "You're finally leavin' her alone now." He allowed Kazuichi a small smile. "I'm proud of ya, bro." _

_ Kazuichi beamed. "Thanks, bro!" _

_ "'S no problem." _

_ Fuyuhiko had always had a problem with Kazuichi's crush on Sonia. It was so obvious that she didn't like him back that Kazuichi would have to be stupid for not realising it (though he suspected that he was always at least somewhat aware that his feelings were unrequited). He could see that Kazuichi's advances were making her deeply uncomfortable; it was little wonder that she'd decided to date Gundam instead. Kazuichi hadn’t taken it well at first, but, with Fuyuhiko’s help, he’d began to get over Sonia. And now, it seemed, he was finally fully accepting the truth - that Sonia simply wasn’t the right girl for him. _

_ “Hey, ‘Hiko, why’re you smilin’ so much?” Kazuichi asked. _

_ Fuyuhiko quickly changed his expression into a glare. He could feel his cheeks becoming a little warm. “I wasn’t fuckin’ smilin’,” he replied. _

_ “You totally were!” Kazuichi replied, jubilant. “You should do that more often, bro. It looks nice on you.” _

_ Fuck. Fuyuhiko was definitely blushing now. “Shut the fuck up.” _

_ He began to feel a little concerned. Maybe he was a little  _ too  _ happy about Kazuichi no longer crushing on Sonia. _

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Fuyuhiko awakened with a feeling of longing. The dream was so vivid that he could remember every little detail almost perfectly. He’d managed to fully convince himself that Kazuichi was alive, that the two of them were living out the normal, happy lives they deserved. He should’ve known that it was all just a dream. Kazuichi was gone. He was never coming back. That was just the way it was.

He wished that they could’ve been friends during happier times, before this Killing School Trip came along and turned their lives around. No… maybe they  _ had  _ been friends during happier times; he just couldn’t remember it. After all, they  _ had,  _ supposedly, been Hope’s Peak Academy students before the school trip had begun…

Not wanting to think about it right at that moment - for his hunger pains had gotten worse, and he was still incredibly tired - Fuyuhiko turned on his side and fell back into an uneasy sleep.


	2. I'm So Sorry For Letting You Down

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably tell, it took me a VERY long time to finish this chapter. There are honestly a lot of excuses and reasons behind my tardiness, but I won't bore you with all the details. Sorry that this chapter was so late, I'll try to get the next one out in a timely manner.

The next day, Fuyuhiko felt that he was ready to brush everything aside and focus on one thing, and one thing only - getting off Jabberwock Island alive. At the very beginning of the Killing School Trip, it’d been made very clear that there was no way to escape the island without getting away with murder, but Fuyuhiko had already decided that he wasn’t going to be responsible for any further deaths. He began to wonder if maybe there  _ was  _ another way - another way that no one else had ever considered. Writing a cry for help in the sand, perhaps? No, Monokuma would put a stop to that real fast. Swimming out to sea? There wasn’t going to be anything for miles, and Fuyuhiko couldn’t spend this long swimming without running the risk of drowning. Taking on Monokuma himself…? No, of course not, that was suicidal. Besides, even if any of these had a chance at working, Fuyuhiko was going to have to get out of the Funhouse first - and how the hell was he going to do that without resorting to murder?

He sighed, exhausted, staring at the strawberry cutouts drifting along the walls. What was the point of all this? The others were trying to get to the bottom of why they were here and who was behind all of this, but why did that matter? Knowing the truth wasn’t going to help them escape, and it sure as hell wasn’t going to resurrect the dead…

“You’re startin’ to worry me, y’know,” a voice beside him sighed. “Are ya sure everything’s alright?”

Fuyuhiko whipped his head around to glare at Akane. “How many times do I gotta tell you to leave me alone?” he snapped. “Do you wanna be the next fuckin’ victim or what?” He had to work extra hard to prevent his voice from trembling as he spoke. The sooner Akane disappeared, the better.

Akane glared right back at him. “I’ll come back when you’ve stopped flingin’ death threats around.” She turned on her heel and headed back the way she’d come.

A tiny part of Fuyuhiko felt bad for pushing her away so harshly, but he knew that it had to be done. Being around Akane was the last thing he needed. Just looking at her made him feel an unpleasant concoction of guilt, envy and fear, and he’d already decided that he had no time to put up with these feelings. What was perplexing, however, was her persistence to be there for him. Many of the other students had expressed their concern and attempted to comfort him, but once Fuyuhiko rejected their advances, that was it. They got the message, and they left him alone. Not Akane, though. This was the third time she’d approached him today, and Fuyuhiko had a sinking feeling that it wouldn’t be the last.

After surveying the area to make sure that Akane was gone, Fuyuhiko resumed pondering his escape.

━━━━━━━━━━━

The day drew to a close, and Fuyuhiko had failed to think of a way to escape the island.

He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Maybe it was the lack of food for three days straight, or perhaps it was Kazuichi’s suicide, but whatever the case may be, his thought process wasn’t quite up to scratch. Every passing idea seemed impossible, even without factoring in the current Funhouse situation. He was the first to go to bed out of everyone, deciding that maybe a good night’s sleep would help him think things over more carefully the next day.

Unfortunately, nothing had improved. By the time he’d woken up - at least fifteen minutes before Monokuma Tai Chi was scheduled to begin - he had a migraine, painful joints and an increasingly rumbling stomach. Despite his high pain tolerance, thinking of an escape plan had not become any easier.

The more time stretched on, the more Fuyuhiko wanted to scream. Being the heir of Japan’s largest yakuza syndicate, he’d dealt with life-or-death situations like these before. The difference was that this time, he had no way to defend himself, no one to help him and nothing to do. The closest thing to productivity or entertainment in the Funhouse was swinging on the swings on the third floor of Strawberry House. He’d dismissed it as pointless at first, but as the days dragged on, he found that it was an effective yet short-lasting distraction from all of his chaotic, unorganised thoughts. As soon as he got off the swing, however, he fell straight back into this unhealthy state of mind.

At least he could confidently say that he’d never shed a tear since the day of Kazuichi’s suicide. Crying was an act of weakness, and he always felt guilty whenever he succumbed to it, especially when others were around. If the Kuzuryuu Clan had seen him back there, sobbing pathetically on his knees in Strawberry House, he’d be a laughingstock. He couldn’t keep this up much longer, though. If he had to remain confined in the Funhouse and put up with Akane disturbing him for even another few hours, he was going to break down all over again - and probably die within the next couple of days.

He turned in much earlier than he had the previous night; he wasn’t even sure if the sun outside was beginning to set by the time he went to bed. There was nothing he could do but sleep away the endless hours, vainly hoping that they’d escape the Funhouse somehow. Once that happened, he could finally think of an effective plan and get to work on executing it.

He was abruptly awakened by the sound of the door crashing open.

Fuyuhiko jolted awake despite his physical pain and exhaustion and immediately turned towards the doorway, where Akane stood, gripping the door frame as she tried to catch her breath. Pushing the door open with such strength easily wore her out in her malnourished state, but Fuyuhiko was stunned that she’d managed to pull it off at all.

“I was  _ asleep,  _ you fuckin’ asshole,” he growled as he reached over to retrieve his eyepatch from the bedside table.

“Ya think I - give a - damn?” Akane retorted. She released her grip on the door frame, taking a few moments to catch her breath before she spoke again. “You’ve been spendin’ way too much time avoidin’ everyone and feelin’ sorry for yourself. I’m not gonna leave you alone ‘til you let me spend a bit of time with you.”

Fuyuhiko glared at her. He hoped that the eyepatch he’d just put back on made him appear more intimidating. “Try me.”

Akane sighed. “What’s it gonna take for you to let me in?” She clenched her fists and held them up in front of her chest. “Do I gotta beat you in a fight? Is that how you wanna settle this?”

Fuyuhiko was pretty sure that that wasn’t possible. The two of them had lost most of their physical strength to starvation, but considering Akane was able to slam the door open with such force, she seemed to have more strength remaining. He hadn’t fully considered who would win in a fight between them in normal circumstances, but he had a feeling that in the state they were both in, Akane had the upper hand. There was no way a fight could work out in his favour.

“Get fucked,” he said. “Go choke on a chicken drumstick or somethin’.”

Akane pursed her lips. “If you really think your petty kindergarten-level insults can sway me, Francis, you have the wrong idea. If you’re gonna keep it up, you’re askin’ for a knuckle sandwich!”

Fuyuhiko gritted his teeth. He was absolutely  _ not  _ used to anyone refusing to leave him alone like this. Even Peko let him be when he wanted her to, although he had to do a bit of work to convince her. He was running out of options. “Let me go back to sleep,” he sighed. “‘M fuckin’ tired.”

Akane softened a little. She approached the bed and sat at the end of it. “Lemme tell ya somethin’,” she said, “we all are.”

“Yeah, so why don’t you go the fuck to sleep already?”

“‘Cuz I care. And if you have a problem with that… I dunno how to help ya.”

Akane had made it very clear over the past couple of days, but hearing her say out loud that she cared for Fuyuhiko made his stomach turn into tight, uneasy knots. The people who cared about him always left him behind, one way or another. As the up-and-coming heir to Japan’s largest yakuza syndicate, caring for another person endangered them. Now that he was trapped in a killing game, the power of his talent’s influence had proven itself twice over. Not only did he have to brave the storm alone and prove that he could escape this killing game alive, without anyone’s help, but he also had to protect Akane. The best way to do so was to avoid her at all costs.

Akane let out another sigh. Fuyuhiko couldn’t help but notice how fatigued and weary she looked all of a sudden. “Look, you’re not alone, okay? Everyone knows that you’ve been through so damn much lately, but you’re not the only one goin’ through a hard time. We’ve all got a lot on our plate.” By now, the fire in her eyes had extinguished, replaced with a look of genuine compassion. It reminded Fuyuhiko of how Natsumi and Peko used to look at him whenever they noticed that he was under the weather, and he had to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. “Everything’s gonna be okay. We… we can figure this out.”

“You don’t sound so sure,” Fuyuhiko pointed out.

Akane shrugged. “You get what I mean. Just, y’know, look towards the future and stuff, I guess.”

Fuyuhiko didn’t respond to that. His walls were crumbling down again, and by now it was very difficult for him to hold himself together. Akane’s presence, in his room,  _ caring  _ about him, attempting to  _ comfort  _ him, was too much. He gritted his teeth as a feeling of indubitable anger powered through his veins. Who was she to come into his room and act as a therapist when  _ her  _ closest friend was alive and well, even after a near-death experience? Why did she have to worry so much about  _ him _ instead of spending time with Nekomaru?

The silence persisted for a couple of minutes longer, and Fuyuhiko waited for Akane to say or do  _ something.  _ He released the breath he’d been holding when, at last, Akane rose back to her feet and moved towards the door. “You’re one stubborn boy, y’know,” she murmured, defeated. “Guess I’ll just… leave you be, if that’s what you really want.” She hesitated for a moment. “My offer’s still open, y’know. If you ever change your mind, come see me, and we’ll talk about whatever you wanna get off your chest.”

Fuyuhiko nodded without saying a word.

Akane hung around for a moment longer, giving Fuyuhiko one last sympathetic look. Then, she departed from the room, gently closing the door behind her.

The moment she was gone, the tears Fuyuhiko had been holding back began to pour, and he cried for the first time in two days. Even in solitude, the guilt of his weakness tore away at him bit by bit.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

_ They’d only arrived at the karaoke bar five minutes ago, and Fuyuhiko already wanted to leave. _

_ Since the entire class had come, they’d been assigned the largest room in the establishment. It was essentially a gigantic living room, decked out with comfortable sofas and armchairs. Fuyuhiko was seated on a sofa between Kazuichi and Peko, while the rest of the class sat on the various other seats in the room. The problem was, his classmates were all so  _ loud.  _ Ibuki - unsurprisingly the one who’d organised this excursion in the first place - couldn’t even sit still; she was excitedly jumping on the sofa, anticipating the true beginning of the karaoke. Mikan was in tears because Hiyoko had told her, in less-than-polite terms, that she had to have the last turn. Nekomaru and Akane, meanwhile, were poring over the song catalog to choose a song that they wanted to sing together, loudly discussing their choices. _

_ The worst part was yet to come, though - the part where they were all going to  _ sing.  _ Fuyuhiko was in no mood to listen to his stupid classmates attempt to sing stupid J-Pop songs, and he  _ certainly  _ wasn’t going to have a go at singing himself. _

_ Well, okay, maybe he’d consider it if the karaoke machine had any good gangster rap tracks. _

_ “Hey, ‘Hiko.” He felt Kazuichi shift beside him, so he turned to meet his friend’s enthusiastic gaze. “You up for singin’ with me?” _

_ “Fuck no,” Fuyuhiko replied in a heartbeat. “I’ve heard the way you sing off-key while you’re workin’ on your projects.” _

_ “That ain’t how I usually sing!” Kazuichi protested. “I’m actually okay at it, honest!” _

_ “Get bent. I’m not gonna sing for shit anyway. Go find another partner if you’re so desperate for one.” _

_ “You’re not gonna sing!?” Kazuichi distanced from him slightly, leaning against the armrest of the sofa. The passionate look in his eyes took on a somewhat fiery edge. “So  _ you’re  _ the one who’s bad at singin’, huh?” _

_ Fuyuhiko flushed with anger. “My singing’s perfectly fuckin’ fine, unlike yours!” he retorted. _

_ “Ya think? Why don’tcha show me?” said Kazuichi. _

_ Fuck. Kazuichi had backed him into a corner. There was no way in hell he was going to turn down a challenge. He sighed with resignation and delivered a glare towards Kazuichi. “Bring it on.” _

_ Kazuichi grinned, pleased with his answer. “Great! You’d better be the partner I needed for my karaoke dream team!” _

_ Fuyuhiko doubted that Kazuichi was going to be disappointed. His singing voice really wasn’t that bad, but it wasn’t great, either; he simply preferred to rap along to his favourite hip-hop tracks. _

_ It didn’t take long after this exchange for the karaoke to finally begin, and as soon as Ibuki stepped up to the karaoke machine to belt out whatever rock song she could find, Fuyuhiko allowed his mind to wander. He had absolutely no interest in listening to his classmates sing, but despite his efforts to block it out, the sound of music and varying conditions of singing had effectively become background noise. Better than actually paying attention to it, he supposed. _

_ He must’ve fallen asleep at some point, because the next thing he knew, Kazuichi was roughly shaking him. “Hey! ‘Hiko! It’s our turn! Are ya ready?” _

_ Fuyuhiko groaned in protest, but, remembering his challenge, he carefully stood up. “Sure, I guess.” _

_ Kazuichi nodded. “Engines revving!” He wasted no time in dragging Fuyuhiko over to the karaoke machine. He browsed the selection of songs, taking a moment to listen to a sample of each, without even thinking to ask for Fuyuhiko’s opinion. Not that Fuyuhiko cared. The sooner this was over, the better. “Ah, this one sounds nice,” he remarked as he paused upon an English song. He squinted at the screen. “It’s called Um… Umbrella…” He said the song title slowly and deliberately. _

_ “Hmph. It’ll do,” said Fuyuhiko. It was a stupid pop song, but as far as he could tell from the sample, it wasn’t quite as juvenile as the garbage he was used to. Singing this would be tolerable, at least. _

_ “Got it, bro!” Kazuichi selected the song without hesitation as he and Fuyuhiko grabbed their microphones and prepared themselves. The challenge was on. _

_ Fuyuhiko was pleasantly surprised to find that there was a short rap verse at the very beginning of the song. His spat the lines out much more harshly than he was supposed to, but, even with the verse being entirely in English, he found himself quite comfortable. Getting straight-As in English class probably helped. _

_ As soon as he finished, Kazuichi launched right into the second verse, and Fuyuhiko couldn’t help but cringe. Despite what Kazuichi had said, his singing was terrible. He couldn’t stay on-key to save his life, and the way he pronounced the English lyrics was awkward and clumsy. Given his poor grades in English, Fuyuhiko was hardly surprised. Nonetheless, he wanted the song to be over, and soon - especially if there were no more rapping parts he could do. He wasn’t the only one to feel this way; he could hear Hiyoko taunting them at the back of the room. _

_ Fuyuhiko sang through the entire bridge. Once he reached the chorus, he and Kazuichi alternated between lines, then sang a brief, disjointed duet. The rest of the song continued just like that. _

_ Fuyuhiko had his eye on the lyrics on the screen, even during Kazuichi’s parts (if only to tune out his god-awful singing.) Towards the beginning of the song, he’d assumed it was some sappy love song, but as the melody continued on, he realised that the lyrics spoke of a concept that wasn’t necessarily romantic. The song was about being there for one’s best friend through thick and thin, vowing to always stay by their side no matter what happened. It was cheesy and kind of lame - and yet, he couldn’t help but think of Kazuichi. _

_ Despite everything they’d done together, Fuyuhiko had never really stopped to think about how much Kazuichi really meant to him and how valuable their friendship was. The fact that he had such a close friend at all had changed his life in ways he never anticipated. He’d always thought he could get by with Peko and Natsumi alone, but now that he had Kazuichi, he realised that he couldn’t live without him. Kazuichi was his first true friend outside of the Kuzuryuu Clan. No, he was more than that. _

_ Kazuichi was his brother. _

_ As the song finally ended, everyone gave them a round of applause. Well, everyone except Hiyoko, who folded her arms and glared at the two boys. “Hmph!  _ I  _ wanted to sing that song with Mahiru!” _

_ “Suck it up, bitch,” said Fuyuhiko, glaring back. _

_ “Hey!” Kazuichi was beaming at him. “I knew your singin’ was great! You should do it more often, man.” _

_ “Fuck no,” said Fuyuhiko, but he couldn’t stop himself from blushing at the compliment. _

_ As they returned to the sofa, Peko shot Fuyuhiko a brief, meaningful look. Knowing her, she probably knew full well that Fuyuhiko had a good time, despite his initial grumbling. Fuyuhiko was reluctant to admit it, but she was right. Today was a good day. _

━━━━━━━━━━━━

As Fuyuhiko opened his eyes, the song, Umbrella, was still fresh on his mind.

This time, it took him a few moments to get a bearing of his surroundings. Once he realised that he was still locked up in the Funhouse and that Kazuichi, Peko and several of his other classmates were still dead, the feelings of longing and loneliness gripped him like a vice once again.

_ Don’t let it get ahold of you,  _ he thought to himself as he blinked away the tears that threatened to spill over.  _ It’s just a dream. Don’t let it bother you. _

But the more he told himself not to think about the dream, the more he thought about it, and the more he questioned it. Where were Chiaki and Hajime? Why was his dream self convinced that the entire class was present, despite their absence? And his dream self had thought of Kazuichi as a brother…

Was there really a possibility that he and Kazuichi had been close friends before the Killing School Trip? There had to be, he realised, as he cast his mind back to the revelation of Natsumi’s death. He and Kazuichi had most likely led happy lives together as friends, as  _ brothers  _ \- and yet, he couldn’t recall a single thing from that time. Well, unless these dreams counted, but what did they matter? Remembering the past wasn’t going to change anything. There was nothing Fuyuhiko could do to bring his loved ones back.

It was all so stupid. He’d never felt this way before. He couldn’t recall any moment in his life where he felt so lonely, so hopeless.

He lay in bed for a few minutes, staring up at the ceiling as he waited for sleep to overcome him again, but it was no use. He was still exhausted, and yet he couldn’t sleep at all; he might as well be wide awake. Giving up, he climbed out of bed, donned his eyepatch, dressed himself and headed out to the second floor of Strawberry House.

To his relief, the second floor was deserted. It was to be expected; according to the wall clock between the two loveseats, Monokuma Tai Chi wasn’t due to begin in another hour and a half. Fuyuhiko dreaded it. One more round of morning exercise would probably be enough to kill him.

He carefully took a seat and sighed, trying to ease his mind and focus on the way the strawberry cutouts slowly floated along the walls, floor and ceiling in the room. It wasn’t an effective distraction. The best way for him to take his mind off things was to be busy and productive, whether it was schoolwork or yakuza duties. Now that there was nothing to do, he was bored out of his mind, allowing his mind to run free with depressive thoughts about the killing game, about Kazuichi, about… everything. Nothing was going well for him right now, and, much as he hated to admit it, he couldn’t see a light at the end of the tunnel.

There was a faint part of him that reminded him that he couldn’t wallow in despair like this, for that was exactly what Monokuma wanted, but he ignored it. It was a lose-lose situation. Any attempts to make things better would be counterproductive.

Fuyuhiko jumped as a sudden, cacophonic noise from right beside him snapped him straight out of his reverie. The clock was chiming, violently trembling, and Fuyuhiko jumped to his feet and took it into his thin, weak arms, scrabbling for a way to turn it off. He was unable to find any sort of button or switch, and his arms protested the longer he held it. He grunted in pain, tempted to put the clock down on a flat surface, but forced himself to persevere.

"What is this ungodly racket?" Gundam demanded as he appeared beside Fuyuhiko, seemingly out of nowhere.

"The clock," Fuyuhiko snapped. "I'm tryin' to turn it off." Carrying the thing was growing increasingly difficult now.

"I will attempt this." Gundam took the clock and felt around for anything that could possibly turn it off. The clock was silenced a moment later, seemingly without any prompting from Gundam's part.

Fuyuhiko sighed with relief as Gundam placed the clock back where it was. "...thanks."

Before Gundam could respond, the two were made aware of a faint rumbling sound that was steadily becoming louder and louder, until it had become about as loud as the clock. Fuyuhiko cried out as he clamped his hands over his ears. He swore he could feel the ground trembling very slightly beneath his feet.

Shortly afterwards, the rumbling suddenly ceased. Fuyuhiko slowly, hesitantly removed his hands from his ears and looked around. Nothing was damaged or out of place. "What the fuck was that…"

"I do not know," Gundam sighed. "I do hope that no one has suffered any fatalities…"

_ I hope so, too,  _ was what Fuyuhiko thought, but didn't say out loud.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

As it turned out, Fuyuhiko’s hopes were dashed as soon as he, Gundam and Nagito were finally granted entry into Grape House thanks to Chiaki and Monomi’s assistance in repairing the broken elevator. They’d heard the body discovery announcement long before, so they knew that  _ someone  _ had died, but that didn’t stop Fuyuhiko’s horror upon witnessing Nekomaru’s remains on the ground, robotic limbs dented beyond repair and bright blue oil bleeding out. The look on Akane’s face said it all. She was devastated.

Leaving the Funhouse with food in his belly, but without Kazuichi, Nekomaru or Gundam, was bittersweet. On one hand, it meant that he could finally do something about getting off the island. On the other, he still hadn’t come up with any ideas on how to pull that off. Part of him felt guilty that Nekomaru and Gundam’s lives were the price to pay for escape. Their deaths reminded him of just how messed-up the situation really was.

Kazuichi’s absence was felt among the class as the fourth investigation wore on. Monokuma had been kind enough to include a full autopsy in the Monokuma File this time, but Chiaki and Monomi had taken an excruciatingly long time to repair the elevator. Kazuichi could’ve done that twice as fast as they had. The entire investigation and trial were torturous to Fuyuhiko. He rarely spoke, and when he did, he yelled, trying his damned hardest to avoid bursting into angry tears.

By the next morning, he was nothing short of exhausted. He still hadn’t eaten much, even when there was an entire buffet of food to choose from at dinner, but his hunger pains were starting to go away. Even so, the night after they were freed from the Funhouse, sleep was an impossible task for Fuyuhiko. He tossed and turned, half-dreading closing his eyes and launching into another dream about Kazuichi, half-hoping that the past week or so was all just a horrible nightmare that he was finally going to wake up from. He had managed to sleep in the end, but the morning Monokuma Announcement came far too soon, and he slowly, meticulously got dressed, not in any hurry to go to Hotel Mirai.

Fuyuhiko winced as he stepped outside into the sunshine. He hadn’t seen sunlight in days, and the sun outside of his dim cottage had almost blinded his remaining eye. He could already feel its warm rays penetrating his skin as he locked the door behind him and set off.

He paused at Kazuichi’s cottage. The curtains were drawn, and there was no sign of anyone inside. Fuyuhiko doubted that anyone would enter the cottage again, except maybe Monokuma or Monomi. He spent a little too long staring at the mailbox, with Kazuichi’s small, pixelated face engraved on the front. A lump rose in his throat as he stared up at the heavens, the place Kazuichi was now - the place all of his lost friends were.

_ Natsumi… Peko… Kazuichi… I’m so sorry for letting you down. _

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Breakfast was a blur. Fuyuhiko only recalled picking at his food and something about a new island being available. No one offered to accompany him in exploring the new island. Even Akane had left him alone. He brushed aside the thought that he wanted to go with her and the concern and disappointment he felt about her giving up on him.

The fifth and final island turned out to be a futuristic city, sprawling with tall skyscrapers and large screens displaying Monokuma laughing maniacally. As he explored the island alone, Fuyuhiko wondered what Kazuichi would’ve thought of it, had he lived to see it. It seemed like the kind of thing he’d love. If the damn coward had held on just a little longer, he would’ve gotten the chance to see this…

Fuyuhiko had been walking around the island for a few minutes when he was suddenly shoved against a wall and pinned there with someone’s hand firmly on his chest. He could faintly recognise the feeling of the tip of a blade against his throat. Unable to move his head, he was forced to meet Nagito’s manic gaze.

“Your despair is clear, Fuyuhiko,” the lucky student told him in a soft voice. “I think it’d be best if I dealt with you as quickly as possible.”


	3. I'm Such An Idiot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains a scene involving a suicide attempt. Read at your own discretion.

Fuyuhiko’s heart raced. Adrenaline rushed through his veins. There was no way he was going to go down without a fight like this. He aimed a deliberate kick at Nagito’s stomach. It hit with a stronger impact than he’d expected, and Nagito gasped as he stumbled backwards. He drew the blade - which appeared to be a kitchen knife - away from Fuyuhiko’s throat, but Fuyuhiko seized it from his grasp before he could place his arm back by his side. The Ultimate Yakuza kicked Nagito in the stomach again, and this time the taller boy fell to the ground, landing on his rear.

Fuyuhiko tackled him before he could get back up. He leaned over Nagito, pinning him to the ground with his knees, one hand maintaining a light grip around his neck and the other pointing the knife straight toward his chest.

All the while, Nagito hadn’t stopped smiling.

“I dunno what the fuck you’re thinkin’,” Fuyuhiko growled, “but if you think you can kill me and get away with it, you’re fuckin’ delusional.”

“If you’re… gonna kill me…” Nagito choked out as Fuyuhiko’s grip around his neck tightened, “you’re proving… my point…”

“I don’t give a fuck about your point,” Fuyuhiko snapped so forcefully that spit flew out of his mouth. His anger was immeasurable. All he knew at that moment was that Nagito had tried to mess with him - and he was going to pay. “Someone’s gotta put you in your place. And that person’s gonna be me.”

With a trembling hand, he raised the knife, preparing to deal the killing blow.

“Hey!”

Fuyuhiko looked up. Akane and Sonia had stopped at the scene, looking on with expressions of shock. Fuyuhiko’s heart dropped down to the pit of his stomach as he released his hold on Nagito’s neck. He crawled off of Nagito and rose to his feet. “I can explain-”

“We know what we saw,” Sonia told him quietly. Fuyuhiko froze at the unexpectedly cold tone of her voice. “You were about to kill him.”

Nagito slowly stood up and brushed the dust off his jeans. “Well then,” he said. “That wasn’t the best way to handle it, was it, Fuyuhiko? You’ve become such a dangerous person.”

“Fuyuhiko…” Akane was shell-shocked. “What the hell’s gotten into you?”

The world around Fuyuhiko began to spin. Blood rushed in his ears. His palms began to sweat, and the knife slipped out of his hand and fell to the ground.

_ What have I done? _

The looks of disgust on Akane and Sonia’s faces pierced him cleaner than Nagito’s knife would’ve. If Akane hadn’t given up on him by breakfast that morning, she certainly had now. Fuyuhiko had successfully pushed her away at last - and he didn’t know how to feel about that.

“If anyone else dies, we’ll all know who did it,” said Akane. “Come on, Sonia. Let’s go find Chiaki and Hajime.” And with that, the two girls turned their backs on Fuyuhiko and walked away.

Nagito glared at Fuyuhiko as he moved to retrieve his knife. “I’m not done yet,” he said. “The despair on Jabberwock Island  _ must  _ be eradicated.” He, too, walked away, leaving Fuyuhiko all alone - just as he’d always been from the day of Kazuichi’s suicide.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

Everything changed.

Fuyuhiko found himself back at square one. Once again, he was an outsider, a dangerous yakuza that couldn’t be trusted. Whenever he entered a room, its occupants suddenly stopped talking. Whenever he approached someone, they made an excuse to leave. Even Chiaki was avoiding him. She’d always considered him part of the group, even when he’d tried so hard to distance himself from them, but now it was clear that she wanted very little to do with him.

Everything he’d worked for after Peko’s death and all of the bonds he’d formed since had come undone, leaving him with a mess impossible to clean up. Kazuichi was dead, Akane had given up on him and the other surviving students thought he was a monster. No one was looking out for him. No one was there to catch him when he fell. What were his parents doing right now? Were they looking for him? Was there infighting among the clan, just as there’d been when Natsumi died? Or had they already decided that he was killed by a rival clan and there was no chance of ever seeing him again? The thought of that made him physically ill.

He remembered the harsh sentiments expressed toward him by the clan’s elders - and even his own parents at times - all throughout his childhood. He was constantly told that he wasn’t good enough, that he was a pussy, that Natsumi was the one who was destined to take over the clan. He was pressured to hide his emotions and hold back his tears, to distance himself from anyone not associated with the clan, to solve all his problems with anger and violence. That was what he’d gotten used to. That was how he lived his life.

But then Peko had died for his sake, damaging the mask he wore and leaving an opening for Kazuichi to properly involve himself with him. He’d never been the same since, even now. He maintained a cold, angry disposition, but inside, he was weak, vulnerable. He was crying inside.

Where was he supposed to be? He was too weak for the clan and too dangerous for his surviving classmates. If he did find a way back home, the clan would notice his state and mock him for his dependence on Peko, just as they always had. He’d tried so hard to be the perfect heir, but… maybe they were right. Maybe he just wasn’t cut out for this whole yakuza business.

It was late in the afternoon, and, sitting on the bed in his cottage, he looked around, half-expecting Kazuichi or Peko to be right there, ready to reassure him and absolve him of his worries. Of course, there was no sign of either of them, and Fuyuhiko reminded himself that he would never see them again.

There was no way out of this dark place. From now on, he was always going to be alone. And it was high time he accepted that.

Fuyuhiko gave up on holding back his tears. They streamed down his face as he sobbed, nakedly grief-stricken and broken, feeling the worst he’d ever been. There was no hope in sight, no way for anything to get better. Everything was only going to get worse, and he wasn’t prepared for that. He couldn’t stand another second of this killing game - or even anything outside of it.

He reached under his pillow and took out a small gun that he kept there in case of an attempted murder. It was fully-loaded, ready to go. His hand trembled as he slowly raised it toward the side of his head, his tears not slowing down, but continuing to slide down his cheeks. He rested his thumb on the trigger, holding the gun steady, allowing some space between the barrel and the side of his head.

He sniffled. It was time to say goodbye to the world that rejected him. It was time to say goodbye to those who wouldn’t even care if he was gone. He was on his way to reunite with the people he’d lost, the people who were always at his side and tended to him when he needed them most…

Except… Kazuichi had made the choice to leave him behind. He’d killed himself because of his own cowardice. Was this really the path Fuyuhiko wanted to take? If he went through with this, he was a coward, too - a filthy coward who ran away from his problems, just like Kazuichi.

_ “Now watch me while I fuckin’ get my shit together and survive this shitshow! I ain’t gonna run away!” _

That was the promise he made to himself - the promise to survive the killing game in order to prove to himself and Kazuichi that he was strong-willed and absolutely  _ not  _ a coward. It was a promise he had to keep, no matter what.

He threw the gun across the room, where it collided with a shelf and fell to the floor with a clatter. If he had to go through hell to keep this promise, so be it.

━━━━━━━━━━━━

_ As soon as he fell asleep that night, Fuyuhiko found himself back in the Funhouse, standing before the large, looming pink doors of the Final Dead Room. _

_ He looked around. There were the familiar pink walls with the strawberry cutouts. There was the otherwise empty room. _

_ He turned to his left, then made a choking noise as he was startled by the sight beside him. _

_ There was Kazuichi Souda, standing still with his arms firmly at his sides, staring straight ahead with a pensive expression. _

_ Fuyuhiko tried to slow his heart rate, but it was no use. Here he was, face-to-face with Kazuichi, standing just in front of the room he’d died in. _

_ The room he was  _ going  _ to die in. _

_ “K-Kazuichi,” he gasped, trying his hardest not to let the tears fall down his face. He didn’t know why, but just seeing him right there, just standing in front of those double doors, made his heart clench with unease. _

_ Kazuichi didn’t budge. Fuyuhiko swallowed. Hadn’t he heard him? _

_ “Kazuichi!” he tried again, louder and steadier. “C’mon, don’t just stand there, you idiot! You gotta go back to your room!” He reached out to grab Kazuichi’s hand, but his fingers grasped thin air. Fuyuhiko looked down and saw that his hand had passed cleanly through Kazuichi’s. _

Fuck, no!  _ he thought as he immediately pulled his hand away and clenched his fists.  _ This is… this is just a dream, ain’t it?

_ He glanced around the room again, trying to decide whether he should make a run for it, when he heard one of the doors opening. He immediately focused his attention back on Kazuichi, who slowly pulled the door all the way open, then slumped inside the room without making a sound. After a moment of hesitation, Fuyuhiko followed suit. _

_ “Oh no!” a squeaky, babyish voice cried out. “P-please don’t do the challenge! It’s too dangerous!” _

_ Fuyuhiko looked toward the sound of the voice. Monomi had approached Kazuichi, gazing up at him with her little button eyes filled with worry. _

_ “I know,” said Kazuichi. Fuyuhiko was struck by the quietness and lack of emotion in his voice. “I’m here to fail the challenge.” _

_ Monomi gasped. “F-fail the challenge!? You can’t do that! If you fail the challenge, you’ll-” _

_ She was interrupted by a loud noise that made the three of them jump. The light from outside had vanished, and the room had dimmed as a result. Fuyuhiko turned around. Sure enough, the door was slammed shut. _

_ Kazuichi was panicking, looking around the room in fright. It was as though some sort of switch had been pulled at that moment. He rushed toward the doors and seized the handle. Locked. He tried to turn it again and again, but it was no use. He was trapped. _

_ “Fuck!” he cried with a quavering voice. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…” _

_ Monomi squeaked as her ears drooped. “P-please don’t use that language!” _

_ Ignoring her, Kazuichi slammed his fists against the door as hard as he could. “Help!” he screamed. “Help me! I-I’m trapped in here! I wanna get out! Help!” _

_ Fuyuhiko felt completely helpless as Kazuichi continued his distressed cries. The Ultimate Mechanic was completely unaware of his presence - then again, he wasn’t really  _ here,  _ was he? - and even if he could see Fuyuhiko, he was trapped in this room as well. Kazuichi kept at it for another couple of minutes, and as time passed, his body trembled and he slammed his fists against the door so hard that they turned red. _

_ Eventually, the older boy sunk to his knees and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook, and Fuyuhiko heard muffled sobs. “I-I’m such an idiot…” he whimpered. “I… I wanted to… I-I thought…” _

_ “Oh, Kazuichi…” Monomi ran her paw up and down his back. “We all make bad decisions sometimes. I’m just… really glad that you decided not to hurt anyone!” _

_ “You d-don’t understand,” Kazuichi sobbed. “I was gonna… I came here to…” He swallowed thickly, raising his head to look Monomi in the eye. Very quietly, he said, “I came in here to die.” _

_ “Oh…” Monomi paused her motions. For a moment, Fuyuhiko thought she was going to reprimand Kazuichi for even considering the thought. Instead, she suddenly planted her hands on her hips, a triumphant glimmer in her eye. “Well, now’s no time to give up!” she said. “If we work together, we can get out of here!” _

_ “B-but how?” said Kazuichi. “There’s no way I’m gonna survive the Life-Threatening Game…” _

_ “Of course you will!” Monomi reassured him. “I’m here to help! If we get our heads together, we can survive the game!” _

_ “Are you sure?” Kazuichi asked. _

_ “Positively sure!” Monomi replied. _

_ “O-okay then…” Kazuichi slowly rose to his feet. He took a moment to examine his surroundings, before looking Monomi straight in the eye. “Let’s do this.” _

_ The two of them spent the next 10-15 minutes progressing through the Life-Threatening Game. Kazuichi did most of the grunt work, but Monomi was happy to help, and he relied on her for hints and her personal thoughts and theories (although she seemed to be quite a nuisance to him at times.) Finally, near the end of the challenge, a podium rose up from the ground. Atop that podium was a revolver. Fuyuhiko shuddered when he saw it. _

_ “Oh…” Kazuichi stared at the weapon, dumbfounded. “Um… is this the Ultimate Weapon you’re supposed to get?” _

_ “No!” Monomi cried. “It’s the final part of the challenge!” Fuyuhiko noticed that she seemed very frightened all of a sudden. “I-it’s Russian Roulette! That’s really dangerous!” _

_ All colour drained from Kazuichi’s face. “R-Russian Roulette?” he said in a small voice. “I-I can’t survive that! A-and there’s no other way to get outta here!” _

_ Monomi resumed her earlier motions of gently rubbing Kazuichi’s back. This time, she was trembling despite her efforts to hide her fear. “It’s really dangerous,” she said again. “But there’s no other choice… so… I hope you’ll be really lucky.” _

_ But Fuyuhiko had seen the aftermath. He knew full well that Kazuichi had died to that weapon. He had a feeling that, deep down, the Monomi before him knew that Kazuichi’s fate was sealed. _

_ With a trembling hand, Kazuichi meticulously held the gun up, as though it would explode if he moved it around too much. He spun the cylinder, then slowly raised the gun up toward the side of his head. Fuyuhiko clamped his eye shut and turned his head to the side. _

_ For a full minute, nothing happened. Fuyuhiko could only hear Monomi whimpering, Kazuichi’s deep, shuddering breaths and his own frantic heartbeat. It was torture. He wanted it to be over already. _

_ “M-Monomi?” Kazuichi’s voice was very quiet. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears. _

_ “Yes?” Monomi replied. _

_ Kazuichi took another shuddering breath. “I… I really, really don’t wanna die…” _

_ The veil lifted, exposing an entirely new side of the story to Fuyuhiko. He knew that Kazuichi didn’t want to die, after observing him in this room, but Kazuichi saying so aloud forced him to confront the reality of the situation. Kazuichi wanted to survive the killing game, just as he did. He entered this room during the heat of the moment, during a time where fear had taken control of him. If that revolver had been there from the beginning, and Kazuichi had initially wanted to kill himself with it, he wouldn’t have gone through with it. Even now, he was struggling to go through with the act of pulling the trigger. _

_ “You’ll be okay!” said Monomi, although she sounded as though she was trying to reassure herself more than Kazuichi. “I promise!” _

_ Kazuichi’s breathing slowed a little, and he sounded slightly more relaxed. “Alright,” he said. “I’m gonna do it.” _

_ There was a  _ click  _ and a piercing gunshot, followed by the  _ thud  _ of Kazuichi Souda’s body hitting the floor. _

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Fuyuhiko woke up in a cold sweat. He sat bolt upright, panting as though he’d just run a marathon, and his head was filled with thoughts. If that was more than just a vivid dream… if that was what really happened in the Final Dead Room… he knew who to blame for this now. And it was not Kazuichi.

A sliver of golden light illuminated his cottage through the drawn curtains. According to the wall clock adjacent to him, it was around 5:30. The remaining students weren’t due to wake up in awhile, but Fuyuhiko had no intention of going back to sleep. He  _ needed  _ to do something about the source of all of his pain and suffering, the one who’d taken Peko and Kazuichi away from him.

It was time to end this. He had to exact his revenge and end this nightmare once and for all.

Blinded with rage, Fuyuhiko jumped out of bed and threw on his clothes and eyepatch. He then took the gun beneath his pillow and headed straight outside, locking the door behind him and pocketing the key.

He’d woken up early enough to see Jabberwock Island’s dazzling sunrise at least once before. The sky was a brilliant golden orange, lit up by the sun that nestled halfway up the horizon. However, this time, Fuyuhiko was in no mood to appreciate the scenery. Maybe once he found Monokuma and loaded him with bullets, he could lounge in one of the beach chairs and enjoy the sunrise. Right now, he couldn’t afford to get distracted. The one who’d started this killing game and caused all this suffering among him and his classmates was going to  _ pay. _

He was passing the cottages when, out of the corner of his eye, he saw Akane doing some early-morning exercise just outside of hers. He quickly turned away from her, knowing that at this point, she wanted nothing to do with him. He knew that she’d be grateful to him for taking down Monokuma, though. After all, she’d tried that herself. He’d be the hero, the one who restored peace and hope, the one who’d avenged all of the friends and acquantices they’d lost along the way…

Suddenly, Fuyuhiko was tackled straight to the ground. Instinctively, he aimed his gun at his attacker, only to pause when he realised that it was Akane.

The Ultimate Gymnast glared down at him as she pinned him to the ground. “You’ve gone too far now, Fuyuhiko,” she said. “I’m not gonna let you get away with this. We’ll all know whodunnit next time someone dies.” She knocked the gun straight out of his grip, and it skidded across the ground away from him.

Fuyuhiko gritted his teeth as he glared back at Akane. “Let me go,” he growled, attempting to push her off of him. “I have a fuckin’ lowlife to kill. Unless you wanna fuckin’ go first.”

“You really wanna screw yourself over like this!?” Akane cried. “Look at you, you’re obvious as hell, walkin’ around the place with a gun in your hand. If you wanna kill that lucky bastard so badly, at least-” She paused. “Hang on, what’s up with your eye?”

“What about it?” Fuyuhiko snapped.

“It’s all red.” Akane now looked genuinely concerned. “You look like you’re possessed.”

And suddenly, something changed. Fuyuhiko blinked, suddenly in a daze, staring wide-eyed up at Akane. How did this happen? Why was he out of his cottage so early in the morning? Why was Akane pinning him to the ground like this?

“Huh, looks like it’s gone now,” Akane muttered.

“Huh?”

“Oh, you’re back. Think you were possessed just now.” Cautiously, Akane moved off of him and stood up. Fuyuhiko, still confused, followed suit. He noticed Akane picking a gun up off the floor - the same one he always kept under his pillow - and holding it at her side. She then turned toward him. “D’you remember anything that just happened, by any chance? You look like you literally just woke up.”

Fuyuhiko shook his head.

“Well, you were just loiterin’ ‘round the place with your gun here” - she raised it so he could see - “like you were ‘bout to shoot someone. I reckon anyone would’ve done what I did if they saw someone walkin’ around like that.”

That was plausible, Fuyuhiko decided. He had no recollection of what had transpired, except for one thing - a feeling of powerful, blinding anger, so much stronger than any occasion where he’d been angry in his life. It was so powerful that it was easy to be angry at everything, to want to destroy everything and everyone…

That wasn’t the path he wanted to take.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you or anythin’,” said Akane after a few moments of silence had passed. “I just had to do what I had to do to protect everyone, y’know?”

“You really think I’d be bothered ‘bout a couple bruises?” said Fuyuhiko.

Akane shrugged. “You Yakuza guys wear your scars as a badge of pride, don’tcha?”

Fuyuhiko covered his eyepatch with his hand. “Not… not always.”

Akane’s gaze softened, and once again, Fuyuhiko couldn’t help but liken her to Natsumi and Peko - the girls who were sisters to him, the girls who took care of him and made sure he wasn’t alone. Akane hadn’t given up on him after all. All this time, she still cared about him.

“I know how it feels, now, to lose someone you love,” she told him quietly.

Fuyuhiko’s heart sank as he recalled Nekomaru’s sacrifice and how devastated Akane had been once she’d realised he’d died. Now that he knew that Kazuichi truly hadn’t meant to die, he could relate to that feeling.

“Every day,” Akane went on, “I tell myself to live to the fullest, to survive this killin’ game for… for Nekomaru’s sake. But it’s hard, y’know? It sounds so easy, right? It really isn’t. It just keeps hittin’ me that he’s  _ gone.  _ Never comin’ back.”

All of this sounded way too familiar, way too close to home. Akane was right. Fuyuhiko wasn’t alone. By now, almost everyone around him had lost someone close to them, and beneath their determined smiles and words of encouragement, they were heartbroken by their losses and tired of the killing game. Despite what had happened, however, they were continuing to work together in order to get to the bottom of the situation, even though they’d lost so many friends and been betrayed several times over.

_ “Gettin’ on with the right folks actually gives you more strength than before.” _

_ “I know you’re going through a lot right now, but don’t be afraid to fall back on your friends. They’re here for you.” _

Were they… right all along?

“I know how that feels,” he said.

“I’m guessin’ you’ve had to deal with loss ‘n stuff a lot in your life,” said Akane. “I mean, you’re a yakuza.”

Fuyuhiko shrugged. “You get used to it,” he admits. “Until… well, until the person dyin’ is someone you really care about.”

Akane’s face fell, as though she was remembering something. “Right, you lost your sister, too… man, you really have been through a lot.” She hesitated for a moment. “You wanna… come over to my cottage for a little while?”

Fuyuhiko considered this. He hadn’t been inside anyone’s cottage since before Kazuichi’s suicide. He wasn’t even sure how much he was willing to open up to Akane.

But if friendship really would give him the strength he desperately needed to carry on…

“Sure,” he decided.

They took the short walk to Akane’s cottage, and when Fuyuhiko entered, he immediately noticed that her living area was cluttered with workout equipment. It wasn’t the tidiest place in the world, but it wasn’t as bad as Kazuichi’s dorm was in one of his dreams, either. Regardless, it was quite crowded and difficult to navigate, and yet something about it seemed… welcoming and homely, somehow.

Akane took out a large bag of potato chips from the cupboard, then moved to sit on the bed, inviting Fuyuhiko to sit beside her. “Want some?” she offered, gesturing to the potato chips. “They always help me feel better.”

Fuyuhiko shook his head. “I don’t have snacks first thing in the morning.”

Akane shrugged. “Suit yourself.” She ripped the bag open and took a large handful of chips into her mouth. Fuyuhiko cringed at the loud sound of crunching. After she swallowed, she tentatively handed the gun back to Fuyuhiko. “This is yours, so you hold on to it,” she told him. “Just don’t do anythin’ stupid with it.”

As Fuyuhiko attached the gun to his belt, he realised that he was getting really comfortable with Akane. She was loud and annoying most of the time, but right here, right now, she was easygoing and caring toward him. He was experiencing the same awkward, rough but inherently comfortable feelings toward her as a friend as he had toward Kazuichi.

And that was starting to scare him.

What if she was the next victim in this killing game? What if she never really cared about him at all? Was she using him to further her goals? Was she going to kill him after gaining his trust? He was in such a vulnerable position, being so deeply affected by the deaths of his loved ones, that by now anyone could get away with using him however they pleased.

“I followed your advice,” Akane spoke up quietly. “The advice you gave me when we first talked in the Funhouse.”

“What advice?” said Fuyuhiko.

“The one about… treatin’ every moment with Nekomaru like it’s my last. Spendin’ a lotta time with him, and stuff.” She stared down at her lap. “I confessed to him while we were in the Funhouse, and we became a couple… I had no idea what he was plannin’, but the time I spent with him was… great. And I’m glad I got to tell him how I feel…” She wiped a tear from her eye before looking up again.

Fuyuhiko swallowed as he tried to remember his last words to Kazuichi. He was so stupid for not saying anything to him during Monokuma Tai Chi due to being so fatigued and delirious. Had he said something to him and helped him… maybe things would’ve turned out differently.

He couldn’t remember his very last words to Kazuichi, but he did remember the very last conversation they had, and an unpleasant feeling formed in his stomach as he recalled it. They were talking about Kazuichi’s past and Kazuichi’s own struggles and insecurities with his idea of strength, and Fuyuhiko had repeated Akane’s advice to him, telling him what he’d learned about friendship and togetherness making one stronger.

But Kazuichi didn’t seem entirely convinced. By the time Fuyuhiko had left his room, he still looked… lost and unsure. Of course, the next morning, he appeared to be terrified - and that was the last time Fuyuhiko saw him alive.

He  _ knew  _ that Kazuichi was insecure about his worth and strength. He  _ knew  _ that he was terribly anxious about the killing game. Why hadn’t he done anything about it? Why had he been so blind to the fact that his friend was about to do something drastic?

“I didn’t follow my own damn advice,” Fuyuhiko confessed.

“You didn’t?” said Akane.

Fuyuhiko shook his head. “He was… a very good friend,” he continued slowly. “I’ve never had a friend like that outside of the clan. But I was such a fuckin’ idiot, ‘cuz I never said anything like that to him… even after he called me his fuckin’ Soul Friend, his best friend… fuckin’ hell, I could’ve done somethin’. I could’ve stopped him.” He buried his face in his hands. “I knew losin’ Peko was gonna hurt, but fuck…”

“It’s not your fault,” said Akane. “I think what he did was a shock to everyone. Like I said… I had no idea what Nekomaru was plannin’. either. The signs were there, and I was blind as hell. But… I guess he did what he did to save us. If it weren’t for him, we prolly wouldn’t be here now.”

Fuyuhiko found himself relating to this more than he expected.  _ He  _ was the one who was going to kill Mahiru, but Peko had caught him off-guard and done the deed herself, protecting him from execution. She lived up to her role as Fuyuhiko’s bodyguard, but she was so much more to him than that… nonetheless, it was thanks to her that he was still alive.

Akane was right. Fuyuhiko wasn’t alone. He wasn’t the only one experiencing these feelings of grief, guilt and loneliness. He felt… comforted by the solidarity he had with Akane, knowing that she was going through many of the same ordeals as him.

Still… this was a dangerous path to go down. He’d found solidarity with Kazuichi, too, after realising that Kazuichi also saw himself as weak, desperately wanted to be strong and grew up without any lasting friendships. Kazuichi had since been taken away from him. If he really made an effort with Akane, would he lose her, too?

Akane smiled at him. “I dunno ‘bout you, Franklin, but I’m startin’ to see you as a really good friend. You’re a real good person, y’know.” She held her hand out towards him.

After a moment of deliberation, Fuyuhiko slowly reached out to take Akane’s hand into his own.


End file.
